The History of Love: Waiting for Life to Start

The History of Love, by Nicole Krauss: Waiting for Life to Start

I am currently reading the book "The History of Love" by Nicole Krauss. The book follows the trail of a manuscript called "The History of Love." It is narrated by the man who wrote the book, and a young girl named Alma Singer. The author, Leo Gursky, is a Yiddish man who wrote the book in Yiddish and it was about a past girlfriend and he didn't intend for his book to be published or read. After having about 1,000 copies published in Spain the book dissapeared. It was found and read by Alma's father who then died of cancer and he never told anyone about the book. Years later a copy comes back into Alma's hands and the book begins to tie them all together. The book studies the relationships people have with one another whether it's love, loss, friendship, or they are family. In it almost every main character seems to feel like there is something missing in their lives and they are looking for something. i think that in this they are waiting to find that something, and be able to start or restart their lives.

Since Alma's father died she lives with her brother 'Bird' and her mother Charlotte in Brooklyn, and although they don't know it, near Leo Gursky. I have gotten the impression that Alma was really close to her dad and was torn when he passed away, even though she was only six. It was the same way with Alma's mother who often doesn't leave her bed and although it's been five years is still heartbroken and practically refuses to talk to other men, especially if she really likes them. I think that she is scared to lose another loved one and is waiting for her heart to heal and to move on. I think this is something she really, really wants to do, but has no idea how to do it. She is waiting for someone to come along and show her that she can go on. Also, I think that Alma is waiting to have a family again. She often seems to be really alone and it brings her down. She wants her mother to heal and for them to be a family so that she too can move on and they can be happy together. Until then I don't think Alma kind find the strength to move on and so she is waiting for her mother.

Leo Gursky is waiting for a new life to come through love. I think that he wants his life to begin, see's no way to make it really start for him, and yet is scared of death. He is running in circles away from death, yet not taking a moment to stop and live the last few years of his life. Leo and his friend Bruno have specials signals like tapping the radiator so that they hear the noise in each others apartments that are one floor apart, to make sure that neither of them are dead. Neither of them do very much and usually stay inside. They are both so afraid of death that they do not take a moment to live. Also, Leo always remembers his past love and when he does walk around the city, love is almost all he thinks of. Although he won't admit it at all, I think he is searching for someone to love. He waits to find someone to love, because i believe he thinks that it will fill him with a will to live and give him something to live for. For example, he had a son with a girlfriend who never knew him, although he always kept tabs on that son, until his son died. For a while after his son died he became antisocial and it hurt him. Leo relies on needing someone to love.

In conclusion, in "The History of Love" I think that most of the main characters, Alma Singer, Charlotte Singer, and Leo Gursky, and some other characters are simply waiting for their lives to truly begin, or begin again.

Friendship, Lies and All

Friendship, Lies and All: Home for the Holidays, Heather Vogel-Frederick

         I'm currently reading Home for the Holidays, by Heather Vogel- Frederick. It is the fifth book in the Mother Daughter Book Club series. I think that what I really love about this book is how relataeble it is, particurally through friendships. Most books show friends that are absolutely perfect together, and always help each other, and when they're together nothing goes wrong. This is something I really dislike about realistic fiction books, because generally friendships aren't like that, and like everything there is a lot of stuff that goes wrong. I think that to read a book that I cannot relate with, really makes it a lot harder to enjoy because everything tend to mean a little less to you. In Home for the Holidays the girls are incredible friends to each other, but they still lie to each other, and have their issues.

          

          While Megan and Becca's families are on the Caribbean cruise, Becca lies to Megan. On page 236, Megan tells Becca that she really, really likes the captains son Phillipe. Later, Becca goes on a 'walk' with Phillipe because shes possibly jealous even though she claims shes not. For a few days towards the end of the cruise Megan won't talk to Becca because of how hurt she is, but by the end she realizes that her friendship with Becca is more important and that they can work through anything. Although their problems do end up a little easier and faster than they might in real life, I've read so many books where the main girl has her one best friend that has never, ever done anything wrong, which really isn't realistic. Also, while at Jess's aunt and uncles house, Jess has a broken leg and Emma befriends her mean cousin and without realizing they begin to disclude Jess. When Jess confronts Emma, Emma tells her that she wasn't trying to and although she is mad Jess trusts Emma and they forgive each other. This is another example of a relationship in a book where friendships aren't perfect, and thats a big thing that I love about these books.

          Seeing how the girls get happy endings with their friends, they still do fight with their friends. when I read a book where all friendships are perfect, despite whatever other problems the main characters have, it makes me feel like I cannot relate to the book, because it feels a little fake. One of the most important qualities in a book, is when you can really get inside of it, and if it feels... wrong, that's pretty hard. I think that when I see best friends getting through struggles together it makes me want to read more, and get deeper into the book.

          In conclusion, I really like the aspect of the book where it seems like there are more problems than just basic ones, and also ones that happen between best friends. This makes the book feel a lot more realistic and relatable.

Societys Skinny Little Scars

Society's Skinny Little Scars- Stick Figure, by Lori Gottlieb

The book Stick Figure, is Lori Gottlieb's memoir from her childhood, and how when she was eleven years old she was diagnosed with anorexia. I know that it definitely comes from the people around her, mainly her mother, her friend Julie's mother, and the media, specifically magazines. She comes from a family that is not very loving and her parents are definitely not supportive and tend to only notice her when she does something wrong. I think that her relationships with the people around her are what cause her Anorexia, and it's less about her personally.

For example, her mother is always putting her food on other peoples plates, claiming she's not hungry, and whether or not shes Anorexic, she definitely has eating issues, but her mother also is always yelling at her that she "better eat her potato salad" and things like that. her mother pressuring her into eating, I think really inclines Lori to eat less. She always gets really angry when her parents make comments like this because she feels that when her mother is being hypocritical it's not fair. The angrier and angrier Lori seems to get, the less and less she seems to eat. Also, I think her family is influencing her eating disorder because I believe that although those coments made by her mother make her angry, I do think that she craves having any sort of attention from her parents. Like on page 52 when she screams "f**k you?" to her parents because shes angry, it's triggered by the fact that she knows they will listen. I think that because her parents kind of neglect her, she knows that if she does something wrong, she will finally receive the attention she is craving.

 In additions, I think that like anything, the kids around us and the media around us, shape who we are and definitely cause many eating disorders in young girls. For example, Kate starts talking about having 'thunder thighs', which makes Lori look at her own thighs and begin to think that she must have them. Also, she is always asking herself whether she has as good of a 'body' as the women she see's in her mothers magazines that she steals. Who somebody is a product of the environment around them, and in this case, Lori becomes who she thinks people are pressuring her to be. She see's whats surrounding her, and wants to be like it, or as good as it. Whether or not I agree with being like that, I know I understand it, and that it cannot be helped and therefore does not making Loris Anorexia something she causes for herself. I think that this all derives from the pressure to be society's form of perfect, which is hardly ever even achievable, because you never really can be perfect to everyone. When girls see those Women in magazines they assume that is perfect, and do not want to be 'scars' ruining the perfection.

Also, I think that even though she has a very extreme eating disorder, Lori is a very relatable girl. Partly, because she is writing about her own experiences, but also because the style in which she writes is as if it was her writing about it when she was a girl. The voice she writes it through is completely un byast and even though today she has overcome her Anorexia and know that that is a bad mindset, in the book she still writes it through the lens where she completely agrees with all the crazy things she says. As a girl, many of her insecurities, and problems through craving attention are things that I relate to. Having older sibilings, who it sometimes really can seem like your parents love and appreciate more is really hard, and I know Lori understands that because of her brother David. All of this makes the book a lot easier to read, because I understand all of her mindsets and problems.

In conclusion, I think that Lori's Anorexia is not something she can help, and is simply a product of the way others treat her, and the society is around her. She just feels the pressure to be perfect, like so many other girls her age.

Plain Truth: Reading Response 7

Plain Truth, by Jodi Picoult: Ellie Knows What Really Happened

          In the book Plain Truth, by Jodi Picoult, I think that Ellie knows that Katie did give birth to the baby, and is unsure of whether or not she killed it, but still wants to defend her, this is because she understands what its like to feel trapped, as Katie is by her Amish father and family, because of her rocky relationship with her husband. In their relationship I know that Ellie wants to leave, and yet her husband seems to make her feel forced into staying, and makes her keep coming back, so she really knows how Katie is controlled and truly does not want to disappoint them or be put under bann by her family. 

          I think that Ellie definitely knows that Katie, did have the baby and is lying about it. On page 44, she has just met Katie and is telling her what they are going to do in the courtroom, and all Katie will say back to her is, "I didn't have a baby." Ellie tells her they are going to have to find a loophole in the evidence, and also tells her that a hospital and all the police do think she had a baby. She begins to get frustrated with Katie and I think that how she reacts to Katie tells me she knows Katie did have the baby. When she says they have to find a loophole for the second time, it is because she knows if they cannot find one it doesn't matter what Katie or she says, because even at the very beginning she knows she has nothing to fight the opposing counsel with. Also, she knows that finding some sort of loophole is the last resort and they are already falling back on it because even though the opposing counsel has no certain evidence Katie is guilty, they have no evidence at all that she is innocent and Ellie understands this.

          Also, I think that she both understands why Katie is lying and also understands hat she is guilty further because she knows exactly why she would lie. As I mentioned earlier Ellie's husband  Stephen is controlling, and in their marriage what he says, goes. For example, Ellie wants to have a baby and sends time looking for sperm donors and yet Stephen doesn't want to and won't even allow Ellie to discuss it with him. I think that Katie is in a similar situation. Being Amish men have much more power than women so Katie has to do what they say, and similarly not have a child. Because of this I think Ellie has a greater understanding of the trial. I think that if she thought Katie had no reason to lie she would be much more inclined to believe her, and yet because she knows Katie has a reason to lie, it is easier for her to know that she is lying than it is for other people, such as Aunt Leda. 

       I think that I and other people can not relate as closely to Katie, but I do understand why she is lying and her motive. She is lying because she wants to please other people, and not get in trouble and have people ashamed of or disappointed in her. When put this simply, I think that it is much easier to understand and is helpful in getting closer to the character, and understanding their logic. I know that I know how Katie feels because when you know you have people upset with you, it can and will force some people to lie. In conclusion, I think that Ellie knows Katie is lying but still wants to defend her because she understands her, and in addition I think that I know and can relate to Katies motive behind lying.

Hiding From The Truth, My Sisters Keeper`

My Sisters Keeper, by Jodi Picoult: Hiding From The Truth

          While reading the book My Sisters Keeper, by Jodi Picoult I started to see theme where characters were hiding from the truths that were around them. I saw it in Sara, during the trial, and in Julia, when she starts to realize she loves Campbell again but doesn't want to, and lastly in Anna, when one moment she wants to go through with the trial and then as soon as she sees Kate she no longer does. I think that the idea of 'hiding from the truth' is something humans do naturally when something bad comes up, or a harsh reality kicks in, or something you don't want to happen, happens. I think that the characters are going through problems with similar ideas and find it easier to ignore iit that truly confront it, full on.

          During the trial, from pages 295 to 297, Campbell lists all the medical procedures Anna has undergone and also all the side affects or problems that could have occured in going through them. He also states blankly that Anna was born to live her life like this and genetically conceived simply to help Kate. The entire time Sara is trying to take what Campbell says and state it in different ways, to make it seem less harsh and true, and more harmless. For example, he says, "you and your husband decide to conceive a child who would be genetically programmed to be an organ donor for Kate, so that she could be cured?" This is definatly the truth and yet Sara tries to cover it up by saying,"Not the word I would choose, but that was the story behind Anna's conception" As if she id trying to play it down as though thats not exactly or truly what happened.  I think that this shows that if Sara had known for sure she had did the right thing, she would have no objections and let Campbell tell the court exactly what happened. Also,  the fact that she knows she made a mistake, but is trying to cover it up, to me shows her trying to hide from the truth.

          I also saw a the character Julia trying to hide from the truth. She had been in love with Campbell in high school, and they hen parted ways messily with Julia promising she would never fall back in love with him. They are brought together again through the trial and Julia is trying so hard to act as though she doesn't love him, yet deep down I think she does. On page 253 Anna asks Julia if she "thinks Campbell is cute?" Julia responds by basically freaking out and saying "What?" she then says "I could see where some women... might find him attractive." She is very jumpy and nervous around this topic because she doesn't want to say yes, and finally admit it to herself, or say no, because she and Anna both know thats not the truth. Also, on page 278 Campbell asks Julia to go out to dinner with him, even if its only because they need to talk about the trial. Julia panics and doesn't want to go. I think that she doesn't want to because if she does she knows she can no longer hide from the fact that she's in love with him. I think that the character Julia is another example of the theme of trying to hide from the truth.

         Lastly, I think that Anna is trying to hide from the reality that even though going through the trial is best for her it will kill Kate and make her mother incredibly disappointed in her. For example, Anna always tells Julia and Campbell that she wants to go through with the trial and is confident in her answer. Then later on, whenever she enters the hospital and is with Kate of her Mom she pretends that she's not going to go through with the trial, so that she can hide from the sadness and that will come from admitting the truth to them. 

          I think that in the book My Sisters Keeper by Jodi Picoult one theme in many of the characters and conflicts is people hiding from the truth, or what they're scared will happen. I saw this mainly in the characters Sara and Anna Fitzgerald and Julia, Anna's Guardian Ad Litem in the courtroom, and the relationships in the Fitzgerald family and between Julia and Campbell.

19 Minutes by Jodi Picoult

Reading Response 5: 19 Minutes, by Jodi Picoult

          While reading the book 19 Minutes, by Jodi Picoult I am beginning to think that maybe Josie can remember if she tries, she just doesn't want to. I noticed how she was reacting whenever people mentioned the trial or the shooting, how opposed she was to even talk about whatever happened on the day of the shooting, and the fact that she becomes uncomfortable, and a little sad, but mostly just uncomfortable around the topic of the trial.  Then, I also began to think about why would Josie lie about remembering the shooting, and pretend she didn't?

         I began to think that Josie could remember the shooting if she tried to, but doesn't want to, when she was talking to her mom about the trial. Her mom, Alex, began trying to talk about it  and Josie immediately curled up on her bed and told her mom she was tired and didn't want to talk. This would normally not be strange with Josie and Alex because their relationship is not very tightly knit, except recently Josie and Alex had been talking a lot more about there feelings, making it strange that Josie wouldn't talk to Alex about the shooting. Also, this shows me that Josie would rather avoid the topic, which is strange because you'd think that maybe it would help her heal and get better, and made me wonder why isn't she talking about the shooting? Another thing is that Josie is a little less sad and more uncomfortable, which I think shows that she may be lying about not being able to remember the shooting and is just acting strange because she knows that she is lying and possibly feels a little bit guilty.

          After it began to become clear to me that Josie was most likely not trying to remember, or at this point, maybe even could clearly remember what had happened, why would she pretend she didn't. I think that if Josie simply did not want to remember she may have lied because she was once friends with Peter and always felt bad about his being bullied, she may not have wanted to have to live with picturing him shooting and killing her friends and the people she loved. I also think that she could have not wanted to have to be forced to relive the day her boyfriend died before her eyes and re experience that nightmare. I also think that if Josie does remember clearly, I think she may lie because maybe while she and Matt, her boyfriend, were in the locker room she believes that if she had acted differently she could have saved Matt and is worried that people would blame her, and also that she might blame herself.

          In the book 19 Minutes, I think that Josie either does not want to remember what happened, or does remember and is pretending not to. I made this conclusions based of of her actions towards other characters and backed it up with reasons of why she would llie to everyone about remembering the shooting.

Am I Blue? 'Guilt By Assosiation'

Am I Blue? by Bruce Coville : Guilt and Embarrassment

          In Class we have been reading the short story 'Am I Blue' by Bruce Coville and analyzing it. In the story Melvin, the fairy godfather, asks Vince if he's feeling 'guilt by association' at being around him. Throughout the story I began to think that that idea really is one that is major theme in the story. At the beginning I only saw it in Vince, but as I read it I began to see it in almost everyone, from people mentioned only once, to huge characters in the story. Even more, I began to realize that this theme is huge in real life, not just through people being gay, but about a lot of things.

          I think that the main character Vincent really shows the idea of being embarrassed or guilty through association and especially when he is around Melvin. On page five, Vince shows this when he and Melvin are walking towards the cafe. He asks Melvin to stop walking 'so swishy' and later he snaps at Melvin to stop calling him honey. I think that Vince acts like this because he doesn't want people to see him with Melvin like that, because he thinks people will assume that because Melvin is gay, Vince must be and he feels guilty being caught walking with Melvin. Then, later, on page eight Melvin winks at a college boy in the cafe and Vince yells at him to stop. Also, on page eleven while Melvin is giving Vince 'gaydar' he touches Vince's eyelids. Vince's 'cheeks burn' and he wonders if anyone else has seen. I think that to me this shows that Vince is embarrassed, because he tells Melvin its not because he feels guilty to be around Melvin its because he doesn't want to get beaten up, and I think he's lying because he acts really strange and awkward around Melvin and always tells him to stop when he's 'acting gay.' Also, I think that Vince is worried that if he's with a gay guy people will naturally assume that he is gay to, which he has always been embarrassed about.  Lastly, all the times I mentioned throughout the story show Vince being ashamed, and as if he is trying to hide from the idea that he or anyone with him is gay.
          Also, I saw this theme in the other characters, whether they were mentioned once, or large characters in the story. First of all, Butch Carrigan, who bullies Vince throughout the story and then at the end is discovered by Melvin to be gay. I think that this shows that he was so embarrassed to be gay that he tormented all of the gay kids so that kids would get the idea that he was a homophobe, and certainly not gay himself. Also, Vince mentions the man who runs the grocery store is married with kids and yet he turned blue when Vince had the gaydar, and I thought that he relates to Butch, where he is willing to do anything, and go to incredible heights, so that no one would find out  that he is gay. Lastly, the congressman who was always saying offensive things about gay people on television and publicly displaying himself as a homophobe because he is so ashamed and guilty that he is gay. These are all examples of characters in the book that feel guilty, or ashamed of the fact that they are gay.
         Lastly, I think that the idea I've been talking about of people feeling guilty or embarrassed to be associated with something is huge in everyones life. It can show in the way it does in this story, the idea off hiding that you're gay, or it can show in much smaller, or bigger ways. In other books I have read it shows as being embarrassed or ashamed of your religion, your race, your class and many other social qualities. On the other hand it can be as simple as an embarrassing parent, or more in general its qualities that could set you apart from other people and make you different that people are usually ashamed of in our society.
          In conclusion, I think that the idea of 'guilt by association', as Melvin puts it, is not only huge in this story or in many other books, but its also huge in many peoples lives and always has been. While writing this I realized that because of the way our society is built, usually the qualities that cause people to be embarrassed or ashamed are the qualities that make you different, or could set you apart from anybody and everybody else.

Reading Response 2: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Reading Response 2: Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, by Jonathan Safran Foer.

By Maddy Stutt 809

         In the book Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, the main character Oskar Schell always follows his parents rules, until he finds an envelope with the word black written on it and a key inside. After that, he lies to his mom and continually sneaks out to try and find the true meaning of the key and possibly its owner and where it leads to. At first it wasn't clear to me why it meant so much to him that he answered all the questions brought with the key, and I have begun to realize that it is entirely about different aspects of his father

          In the book, Oskars father, Thomas Schell is killed in the World Trade Center. Before he died, he called home to speak to Oskar or his mother many times while Oskar was home alone. Oskar never picked up, and I think that Oskar blames himself for him fathers death imagining that if he had picked up his father would be alive. Later, Oskar finds the key in his fathers pocket in his closet. I think that one reason that the key means so much to him is that he thinks that the owes it to his Dad to solve the puzzle and its as though he may be able to be at peace with himself and feel less guilt after he finds it. I think that that Oskars fathers death is one aspect of his father that makes the key very important to him.

        I think that another aspect of Thomas Schell that makes the key so important are the stories that he used to tell Oskar before he went to bed. This is because he was always challenging Oskar and giving him mysteries to solve, and Oskar was in the middle of a huge mystery/story Thomas had told Oskar about. It was about a supposed sixth borough of New York City that Oskar wanted to find and learn about through clues from his dad. I think that Oskar thinks that the key may be one of those clues or may be related to another challenge from his dad. The time they spent together before Oskar fell asleep made the two incredibly close and meant a lot to Oskar and that's another reason why finding the story behind the key is so important to him.

        Lastly, I think that Oskars father's faith in Oskar is another important reason why learning about the key is so important to Oskar. Thomas Schell was a jeweler, and he always was telling Oskar, who wanted to be just like him, that he was too smart and special to do something like that, and that Oskar could achieve greater things. At the time Oskar never believed him, but I think that after his father dies Oskar looks back and sees how far his father thought he could go. Oskar thinks that by not proving he can figure out even the most complicated mysterys he is letting his father down as a person and this keeps him moving and makes it so crucial that he figures this out.

        I think that the reason learning about the key, whether or not it means lying to his mother, is so important to Oskar because of his father. I think that it relates to his fathers death, the stories he used to tell Oskar about, and his faith in Oskar.